Soon...

Apporaching the first day of May is what is happening y'all!  Summertime is on the prowl!

Life is going by quickly. 

So, so quickly.

Soon, my hardwood floors will have footprints all over it and wet towels hanging on the pool fence.  Soon.

Soon, I will be making sandwiches alot.

Soon, I will be smiling and tanning while my boys argue over who gets the extra point in pool football.

Soon, I will be exhausted from smiling and tanning and refereeing my boys in the pool.

Soon.

Soon, I will say get to your rooms and don't come out til' y'all can say you are sorry and that you love each other.

Yep, soon.

A little later, I will see my boys do that. 

And soon we will do that again...

Soon, we will be celebrating Matthew's 8th birthday without him.

Soon, the July heat will bring me to my knees as the memories flood my mind as they do every year.

Soon, I will feel the sting of death all over again.

Soon, it will be here soon.

Soon, I will be remembering this summer like I did last summer and the summers before that.

Soon it will be over and it hasn't even begun yet.

Soon.

I have made a decision... NOW, I choose to not rush it away, to take every single moment as if it were the last, and enjoy it, embrace it and give great thought to what is going on now, not worrying about tomorrow.

Because soon, it will be quiet again and soon I will miss it.

The passion of my heart and how it was redirected after losing Matthew

Happy Friday! 

Weekend,  we are ready!

I wanted to take a few minutes today and share with you all the passion within my heart and how it has been redirected since Matthew passed away.

I get a bit emotional and you will see just how much I love Beth Moore... but here it is! 

I send all of you a gigantic hug! 

XOXO!

Sharing my heart via video today!

I am excited to start a new journey via video today!  I love to write but I also love to talk!  I think I am putting my toes in the wonderful world of vlogging!  Wonder how long it will take me before I jump on in?  Here we go!   

God has blessed my heart so many times through this devo, I hope yours will also be blessed! 

Much love... LCW

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!

Today is GOOD FRIDAY... A day I am personally using to reflect upon Jesus and His suffering on the cross for me.  I am also reflecting upon some of my early Easter years...

I am reminded of those days when I was a little girl just so excited about a new pair of white gloves, a new dress and a hat to complete my Easter Sunday finest.  I am reminded about the anticipation of Easter Sunday.

Today, I am anticipating Easter Sunday, although I am not looking for a new dress or a new hat but rather for what I didn't understand back then.

Easter as a preacher's daughter started at Sunrise Service at Buccaneer Park on the beach.  Did I say it was BEFORE the sun came up?  Whew!  My BFF, Tammy Cremer  and I would sit in the back of the station wagon and look through our baskets of candy after the service while we waited for the next service to begin.  Yep, another service...

It was a day I knew was a really, really special day.   I knew that we celebrated Jesus' resurrection... I understood the agenda of our day, I understood Jesus died on the cross and I understood that three days later He was risen! 

But, as that little girl was all dolled up in her Sunday best, she had no idea what the depth of it all meant.

As life and death happened, I would soon find out.

Y'all all know the song "Because HE lives," right?  And if you don't, go to church on Easter Sunday morning and you will find out.  So, on to the song...

Read the lyrics before I go any further-  even if you know the song, read them again...

"Because HE Lives"

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,Because He lives, all fear is gone;Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!
Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!
Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

I sang this a little girl over and over and over and over, Well, why wouldn't anyone want to face tomorrow I wondered? 

Oh boy, did I ever grow into that one!

The lyrics to this song pierce my heart! 

Let me have you read this verse again-

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

As a little girl I had no idea I would understand this song so very much as an adult! But I will tell you folks something... I may not have  understood it so much then, but I BELIEVED every word of it and it was IN my heart and today more than ever I KNOW HE LIVES!

I know how sweet it is to hold a newborn baby and the pride and joy that he gives!  I know that I have the calm assurance that my child, Matthew, who is not living here with me is living with Jesus!  Because HE lives! 

Jesus died for you and me... He suffered for our sins and our iniquities...

He died so that we could  have everlasting life!

He was nailed to a cross so we could be free from our sins!  He took his last breath for you and for me.  And three days later the tomb was empty!

HE LIVES!  And because He lives, I can face tomorrow!  My fear is gone!  Life is worth living  because He lives! 

Because HE lives, Mattthew lives and I will be with him one day again because His death upon the cross made it possible for a sinner like me to be forgiven and to enter into heaven!

John 3:16 ~ "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life!" 

Get real people... Heaven is for real! 

I was outside earlier today and I was thinking about Matthew and life without him here on this earth.  I was thinking about the amazing grace that has been given to us so that we will be with him again and I was thinking about the lyrics to "Because He lives."  All of it made me want to go to heaven right now! 

When I came in, I felt my heart tug to go to Matthew 10:7 in the Bible, specifically because it was Matthew's time of death...10:07 pm on July 2, 2005.  I had never looked specifically at this scripture before as I did today, but when I read it  I was sure grateful I did!  Heaven is near!  Heaven is near!  I will leave you with this today! 

Matthew 10:7 "As you go, preach this message; The kingdom of heaven is near." 

If I didn't have the HOPE in  my heart that I would be with Matthew again, I wouldn't be able to face tomorrow BUT... BECAUSE HE LIVES... I CAN FACE TOMORROW!  Can you?

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!

Woo, can't wait til' that day "peeps!"- tis' the season for those lil' guys, right?  :)

With much love and a great big Happy, Happy, Happy Easter to you all! 

LCW

on growing older.... BLESS OUR HEARTS!

Oh my goodness, I had to laugh at me and sis the other day!  Ladies, especially those blessed with “roots,” will appreciate this post!

Have you ever just had a day when you look BLAH?  A day when you wake up and see more gray and roots than ever before?  A day when you are depressed just a little about life, growing older and/ or combination of feeling fat or fluffy? 

Well, apparently that happened to me and Lynette the same day-  Seriously, we laughed at ourselves, after!

Both of us have been in the beauty business since 1992 so we have seen our fair share of gray hair and roots… along with the signs of aging, ladies spiraling into the beauty salon for a touch up in their spandex and head bands… YOU know who I am talking about! 

We would console behind the chair many ladies evolving into the aging process as we stood our cute young butts behind the chair thinking, what is that saying again, hmmm… oh yeah “bless her heart!”

For years and years we would wave our magic wand, do make overs as the big 40 approached for these lovely ladies… and send them out the door with a can of freeze spray and a tube of lipstick!  And for about 4 weeks that would occupy the aging process a bit!

So, it hit me the other day!  Me and sis ARE those ladies!  Omgosh!  BLESS OUR HEARTS!!! 

And just when we were fixing to put our color on… the ice cream fairy, aka as the Schwann’s man, knocked on the door!  Ice Cream anyone?

Holy moly!!! YES!  I looked at sis and said oh boy did he pick the right time to come!  We were old and already feeling a little fluffy, so why not? 

Two quarts and some 13 dollars later he was out the door and we were happy, happy, happy!  Almost, anyway!

We sat in the shop and laughed as we ate our ice cream!  Oy vey!

Then we slapped some of that magic on our roots and took about 5 years off of our aging process, at least for a bit!  

Anyhoo… We vowed to never ever have roots again!  And we also skirted around the subject of the noticeable changes to our heads and bodies as we did this thing called aging! 

I also went down the check list of things that “those ladies” used to always get done when they were in, hmmm… this state of whatever you call it!  I said have you done a facial?  Check!  What about your fingernails?  Check!  Toes?  She pulled off her shoes, check!  And then we just shook our heads!  Only one thing left… a long spa bath!

Oh Lord, it was too funny!

So, the bottom line, our roots are gone, so is the ice cream!  Our toes and fingernails are kept up and ready for the spring and our faces have had the Ultimate Facial!  So, are we ready for this growing up/ older thing?  At least for another 4 weeks, absolutely! ;)

When you are down, feeling BLAH… grab a friend or a sister, eat ice cream, a lot of it, grab the polish, do your toes!  Whatever you do, please don’t go to Walmart and buy a 3 dollar color for your hair!  Although fixing those 3 dollar colors did generate much of our income back in the day!

We had some enormously fun times at that salon together!  Thursday nights were “Late Nights” and you all remember that I am sure!  It was the hottest beauty salon to be at on Thursday nights!  We would do hair until 1 in the morning some Thursdays!  Everyone wanted to come on Thursdays!  Ladies would come in their pajamas, bring food, some would bring their wine, but all of them came without kids or a husband!  Ah, memories!   Special thank you to all of the amazing clients that we had!  I know Lynette still sees so many of you, but I don’t!  Good times!

I think that sis and I have learned lots of beauty tricks over the last 2 decades and we are gloriously glad that we did!  Especially to help us through this season of blessing our hearts!

Some blonde hair and some bangs, maybe a pound or two later, we are ready to face another day!  Another day of conquering the beautiful gift of aging! 

I know some folks age gracefully, but I can probably bet that sis and I aren’t on such a graceful road!  It is total freak out!  J

I can fast forward to our ‘silver’ years, in beauty school, that would be affectionately called the ‘blue hair ladies’ and I can see us sitting there with our purple rinse waiting on the ice cream fairy to stop by! 

So here’s to the next stage… here’s to the memories of days gone by as we stood in our youth and gasped at the thought of us ever ‘needing’ to work out or ever needing to run as fast as we can to the beauty shop to get those roots done! 

Sis, we HAVE arrived!  J

BLESS OUR HEARTS! 

Facets of Life Anniversary Book Giveaway! Enter today!

Hi there everyone! 

I am excited to announce that my book is going to be celebrating the second anniversary of publication on March 16th!  I am going to be giving away two copies of "Facets of Life; What I Didn't Expect When I was Expecting" over on my Facebook page! 

To enter, please visit the link below and "like" the page and leave a comment!

Enter book drawing here

If you are wondering if this book is for you, check this blog out!

It is exciting for me to see where two more books are going!  It could  be to you!

I went to the ballpark today, did you?

I went to the ballpark today, did you?

Today I had concession stand duty!  What mama doesn't love to serve up some nachos and chili chees fries to a bunch of boys in between games?  ;) 

Well, I won't be telling stories about sunflower seeds and Diet Dr. Pepper in this post but  I do want to share some things that you may never think about, unless you are a "mom like me." 

Toward the end of the first game the bleachers were full of parents, grandparents, fans, aunts, uncles and friends, a scene that is pretty typical of a baseball game.  (oh, except for the man that had his gray and orange shirt on backwards that stood in front of me!  It was Adidas, of all brands! SO you know that word sat right on his shoulder, as if to wave at me all during the game!  Goodness, that was tough!)   Other than that man's shirt and the game, my mind was drifting off to what everyone else couldn't see... unless they were like me.

I saw 13 and 14 year old boys in the dugout in uniform and couldn't help but think of my friend who will never see her son on the ballfield again.  He plays for Jesus now.

I saw the absence of his presence in a uniform.  I felt his absence.  And I missed his presence. 

I saw a beautiful little baby girl, I held her, I squeezed her cheeks... and I knew that just a few feet away from where I was holding her, there was a mama who would never be able to hold her baby girl again.  It ripped my heart out. 

I felt her absence.  And I missed her presence.

I know what it feels like to see a baby and not be able to hold mine and I feel that.  I get that.  I cannot explain it either. 

I know what it feels like to see my 12 year old play ball without his teammate and friend beside him.  I know what it feels like to be a friend to his mom who wishes she had smelly  baseball socks to wash.  I know how it feels to be her friend and I know how it feels to be that mom.

It is an awful feeling...

I began to look around the ballpark and I knew there were mothers and fathers who were out there that were missing their kids too!  My heart broke.

I wanted to protect the mamas out there at the field today from seeing others with their children.  I didn't want them to feel the pain in seeing the presence of someone else's child and feeling the absence of their own.  It hurts so badly.  I know that all too well.  Some of my hardest days ever have been at the ballpark. 

I will never see Matthew steal second or throw a pitch.  And EVERY time I am at the ballpark I am reminded of that.  Every single time.

There's never a team without a Matthew on it, right?  GO MATTHEW!  GO MATT!  Oh, my heart!  EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Someone sitting beside you today at the ballpark could have been feeling this too... maybe you don't even know it. You may not even be aware of their loss... but I promise if you grab a handful of friends,one is experiencing this pain.

The ballpark is often referred to as a field of dreams... but for some "mamas like me" it can be a painful reminder of dreams that will never come true. 

I know what it feels like to suffer in silence and some people may never talk about their loss, but I do!  I want them to know it is okay to talk about their children too!  I want to listen!

It is important for moms like me to remember their children.  Just because we don't have them in our arms doesn't mean it discounts their role in our lives as our child.

I cannot tell you how many times I have visited Matthew's gravesite before a ballgame.  Please be kind to the person beside you, you don't know where they just came from.

I say that with great empathy and sympathy. 

Today as all of the kids were running around the ballpark, I noticed the ones that could not be seen, the ones we feel in our heart every second of every day.  I saw them.  In memory of all of those precious children that will never get to run around the bases... your absence was felt and your presence was missed today at the ballpark!

Next time you are at the ballpark, maybe you will notice them too!

P.S.  I wonder how hard Matthew is trying to convince Jesus it is okay to steal second base! ;)

XOXO to all of you!