FAQ about Facets of Life & my story

Q ~ Is Facets of Life just for people who have experienced the loss of an infant or a child?
A ~ Facets of Life is for ANYONE who has experienced LOSS on any level of any kind.

Q ~ What made you write Facets of Life?
A ~ Me.  Sounds crazy, doesn't it, but it's an honest answer.  When we experienced the loss of Matthew, I looked for a book like this, to help me and let me know it was okay to have such feelings of grief and define the guilt associated with grieving or not grieving.  I was looking for a survivor to let me know it was okay... to give me hope, that I too, could make it.  Ultimately, God placed that deep desire within my  heart and he began to release that passion to write about it... when He knew I was ready.

Q ~ Did you read books about grief during your loss?
A ~  I tried...  But I found myself starting to read and just laying it aside.  It was far too unbearable to hear of the loss of others when I was trying to survive my own.  The only book I could really read was the Bible.  And I did a lot of that.  Especially Job!  I was convinced I was the  modern day Job!  {or Jobessa ;)} 

Q ~ Did you join a support group?
A ~ Yes, for about 2 days.  I had to back out of it... way too overwhelming and I clearly wasn't ready for that step.  Support groups aren't necessarily for everyone early in the stages of such loss, for some they are, but it wasn't for me... Just recently I rejoined the same support group of Uterine Rupture mamas to reach out to those who lost their babies as I did.  It is still very, very hard to read and I don't look too often, but I try.

Q ~ Did you ever lose your faith?
A ~ YES!  BUT it was always deep within my heart, so I let go of it, but it didn't let me go.  When I got through my stage of being very upset with God... my heart softened again, and there it was, stronger than ever...my faith, accompanied by God's great grace and mercy that would then allow me to began another journey leading me to the place of being ready to write Facets of Life.

Q ~ Is this book for women only?
A ~ Absolutely not... this book is for the family.  My husband and son both wrote in the book and were a major part of the book being completed sharing their thoughts on losing Matthew and the journey that followed.  Nathan, at the time, was 10 years old and he wrote the foreword for me as well.  I didn't ad-lib or edit anything he wrote... word for word, they are his and I am so happy he was brace enough to share his feelings.  

Q ~ Would you do it all over again?
A ~ I am Matthew's mama. YES, I would do it all over again, even if the outcome were exactly the same... 

Q ~ Why do you think bad things happen to Christians?
A ~ Because if bad things didn't happen to Christians, how would we be able to show the lost God's grace, mercy, forgiveness and love... and hope?   Look at Paul in the Bible, can we say persecution?  But oh, what a beautiful example of all of the above he is! 

Q ~ Do you still have bad days?
A ~ Oh, goodness, to answer that  I could write another book!  YES YES YES! I have bad days... bad moments... you know the kind that you don't want anyone to see!  And I didn't let anyone see for a long time, but now... it is what it is friends!  

Q ~ How is your health?
A ~ Well, complicated to say the least... I have lived almost 7 years like this, and I can honestly say that I have heard people (we all  have, and we all have  said it) that say "I don't think I could handle that" or "I don't know what I would do if that happened to me."  Well, you just decide if you are going to live or not.  I chose life... and to live.  Lots of doctor appointments for me, test, surgeries, medications, therapy, but I am here to see my boys grow up!  And I am blessed. If there is ever a day that goes by and I can't wear high heels, don't ask me this question, okay? ;)

Q ~ How is life now?
A ~ WONDERFULLY BLESSED and HARD and FABULOUS and COMPLEX!  But LIFE IS A GIFT AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL!  We treasure every moment, good or bad, and go where that  moment takes us, get through it and start another one! 

Q ~ How has Facets of Life helped you?
A ~ What a deep question to be asked.  It has changed our lives.  It has given us the most extraordinary opportunities to touch the lives and hearts of those who are suffering and for me, that is what Matthew's life represents... healing and hope.  We are so humbled to have God allow us to share our journey and testimony through Matthew's life and God's promises of hope and restoration while at the same time keeping it real and raw throughout the book, that was very important to me.

Q ~ Will you ever write another book?
A ~ Oh yes!  I am planning to start in the Fall this year... Already have pieces here and there, but once kids go to school, I will set a date for completion and start working! :)

Q ~ If you could tell anyone anything about Facets of Life, what would you say?
A ~ Facets of Life is a book of messes and miracles, joys and sorrows, laughter and tears.  If you have suffered loss, messed up your life, or are searching for peace within your heart, our journey through this book is one big rocky way to our destination of hope, but we arrived, and I hope you will too! 

Q ~ If you could tell anyone anything about you what would those be?
A ~ 1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE SHOES!  2. Secretly I want to win Cupcake Wars, but as my son tells me I would need a baker!  3.  Shopping, omgoodness I love to shop!  4.  When I 'grow up' I always said I want to be "Beth Moore" or the Lady from Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders show, Making the Team that runs the show!  Isn't that so distorted?  I know, I know!  From one extreme to the other,  but that makes me! :)  5. My husband wants to be Undercover Boss and change the lives of people by giving them life changing gifts! And I want to be right there beside him because giving is so awesome!  Or he wants to be on Gold Rush! LOL!  He makes me laugh and smile and love him so much! Enough about me and my quirky life ~ I love God, I love the peace I have in my heart because I have hope and I think you can never have enough bling or bedazzlement on anything! :)))  

Final note from me on all of the above...  We live, we laugh, we love, we play, we cry, we fail, we repent, we try, we fail again, we repent and try harder... we suffer but through it all, in the rain or under the rainbow, God has been so faithful and we just want to help others with the journey of this thing called life... and through the many" facets" of it!  If you are on this journey, you are not alone and we care for you and your hurting heart! 

If you have a question / comment please feel free to let me know... will be happy to answer or respond! 


  1. I really appreciate how you are honest about how you lost your faith, but it (God...) didn't let go of you. I'm at that point now, 5 months after my Eve's stillbirth, where I am ANGRY and not sure how that intersects with my faith. But I know that God is grace-giving and that He makes room for the anger and questions. Thank you, Lori!

  2. I lost my son this January to Uterine Rupture while at home. I lived which is as much as I can say for now. I am just starting to write ( a blog for now) to wade through this experience. I see you have found others that have been through UR and found support as a group...where did you find them? Thanks!

    1. Beth, I am so sorry that you suffered a UR. So very sorry. I did find a support group online and they are also available on FB, group name "Uterine Rupture." It is a private group, so you will ask to join and will be connected. There's a lot of love and empathy in this UR support group. I hope this will help in some way as you navigate through such loss and the confusion of this time after UR. Hugs to you! XO!