Monday, March 19, 2012

Picking out flowers...

I know I should be working on Part 3... but my heart is stirred tonight and I cannot stop thinking about this...

We went to Michael's Craft Store today & the Easter decorations are beautiful!  Easter is my very favorite holiday! My oldest son was born on Easter morning, and for my obvious faith, Easter is especially important!

At the same time I get so excited to see the beautiful spring flowers, the tulips, the eggs decorated,  Happy Spring written on the wooded yard signs... I get  a lump in my throat wondering what shall I buy for the cemetery...  I walked around today, and my mind wandered around as I looked at the pastel colors, the peaceful colors, but my heart was wrestling with peace... I rounded the corner and there stood a gentleman, probably in his 40's... he was taking his time picking out the most beautiful pink flowers, some yellow, and white...  My heart sensed where they were going...  I walked to the next aisle to try and escape the sad face of this gentleman, but there he was again, studying the flowers in his hand, I could almost hear his ask himself if she would like these...  It broke my heart.

And tonight, I lay in bed thinking about all of the precious people that will be updating the decor at the cemetery that their loved one was laid to rest, and I am sad.  Sad because I wish that gentleman were bringing his wife, mother or daughter flowers home or to work... but he wasn't.  Sad because I wish Matthew would be here to find eggs with his brothers, but he's not.  Heartbroken for those that are experiencing this...

Spring is here, butterflies are everywhere, flowers are blooming and the bumblebees are driving my dog crazy.  God please help us, help us to have peace within our hearts as the season transitions... and please allow us to have compassion in our hearts for others... for that Dear Jesus is what makes us willing to lay our pain down at your feet trusting you with it and having faith that you will give us the courage to go on so that we can make a difference in the lives of others.

Heavy heart tonight for those who are picking out flowers...

Love to all...


  1. that's exactly what I was doing today...daffodils for Jack.
    you read my crazy mind and just love ya to bits and pieces for this, LW.
    I found Jack's Robot Easter basket the other. I had stuck it up on a shelf last Easter...imagine the utter sadness. you know.
    so raw tonight.
    hugs, my sweet, compassionate friend.
    Love you xoxo

    1. Hugs right back to you... I wish Jack was here for you to fill that basket with goodies for him! I wish everyone had baskets to fill... :( Love from your Mississippi girl... xoxo

  2. I sit here typing this with tears running down my cheeks... My heart too has been heavy with similar things tonight... Hence the 4:30 posting of this comment ;)
    I opened a book today and out fell a picture of my sweet momma who I laid in bed beside in my living room as she took her last breath her on earth 3 years ago exaxtly a week before Christmas... Man do I miss her! And my heart still aches from losing her... but I know that she is doing a great job taking care of my sweet babies for me :) Man my heart and arms ache for them all and oh how I wish there was no need to pick out flowers... and there is more to the story that I could add here... but my words dont flow like yours sweet friend... Just emotion and hurt is emmense tonight... and that I know you get :)
    Thank you sweet friend!

    1. I am so sorry about your mama Annette~ I know you miss her terribly! I have to imagine her taking care of your little ones too... But I wish they were ALL here with you! You don't have to say much, I 'get it' friend and send you lots of prayers & hugs! xoxo!!!

  3. I'm behind on your blog and am just reading this post now. We were also at Michael's that same day picking out Easter things for Marcellus's grave. We got him an Easter wreath (he has a shepard's hook it's hanging on), flowers, plastic eggs with wire to stick in the ground, and we always hand make a sign for every holiday (will also be taped to his shepard's hook). I wish I could see what it's like all laid out, but he's in MN and we're in NC. My mom put it out, but hasn't sent me a picture yet. Once she does I'll post a pic on my blog. She did say he looks very loved.

  4. I am so glad you have your mom there to take care of that most special place for you... & to send you pictures. I know how special that must be for you, especially since you are so far away. Much love... xoxo!!!