Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Today, I went back!

Life has been unusually busy here... a good busy, but a very, very busy.

Appointments, engagements, awards ceremonies, ball games, deadlines, Arbonne meetings, orthodontist visits, field trips, and the list goes on as we are leading into the very last few days of school... then comes graduations!   And after parties and at the end of that - our Disney World trip! :)
{ post(s) to come soon about Disney World! :) }

Arbonne Team!

Brett's Sr. Awards Ceremony

Nathan's Awards Ceremony

Will's T-ball game, and Moose coaching him on 3rd base! Love moments like this!

Last night, I was physically and mentally exhausted... so tired that functioning was out of the question.  I even took my RE9 facial cleaner and put it in my hair when I was trying to wash my face!  Woah!  Okay, I got the memo!  Take a rest!

A rest that doesn't require thinking, planning, organizing or surviving!

That is a ginormous CHALLENGE for me!

But one, I knew I had to face today as I was desperate for rest and unwinding of my mind, body and spirit.

SO, today, it was the pool, hot tub and monster trucks!  And every time my mind wandered to the above, I looked at Will and asked him a question... one that would generate an honest answer from a 5 year old - the answers I was searching for.  One that would make me remember when life was a little less complicated.  A question that would ground me and make me look at the perspective from innocence.  We lose that as we grow up and get hurt... but we really need to go back sometimes and visit the days before loss, before disappointments.

His answers did just that for me... and I was so grateful.

As we were adding some water to the pool, he picked up the water hose and started spraying the plants and as he did, my mind went back to the days when I would play in our back yard with the sprinkler or the water hose and would get so excited to see the rainbow as the water sprayed!  Y'all know what I am talking about, don't you?  The rainbow of beautiful colors that is reflected with the rays from the sun!  I could practically smell the wet grass and hear my sister laughing as my mom was watching close by.

Today, I was reminded that sometimes going back to the simplicity of life, is necessary to complete the tasks at hand or that are on the agenda.  At least for me anyway.

When is the last time you strolled through memory lane without the feelings of grief, and child loss on your heart? When innocence was held in your hand and heart... instead of all the other stuff.

What mattered to me today was looking at my 5 year old and not worrying about the rest of the world.  what did he care about... what did he like to do... what was he thinking?  And try as hard as I could to shut all of the other junk down so I could do just that.  I was 5 once... and when I was 5, pain and grief were not my companions.  I needed to feel that today... to remember that... to believe in that again.

And most importantly, Will needed me to remember that!  Will needed me to have some time  when "time" was not on my mind... when I could just dote on him and be his mommy!  Nothing else, just his mommy!

We played in the beach entry of the pool with monster trucks and then had a race to see which monster truck would fly the fastest into the pool off of the hot tub... we tried to catch the waterfall...

and laughed at butterflies... We watched Dave and his new 'wife' fly back and forth while the dog wasn't looking... we were totally lost in the moment... and that was just where I needed to be.

Will was eating a cracker on the lawn chair beside me and I looked right above him and directly behind him was our "Y" tree... and I noticed, the big "Y" was covered completely by new leaves and new growth and there was a tiny "Y" that stemmed out from the big one.  That spoke volumes. (you can see the tiny "Y" just below the cloud.)   If you are wondering what my "Y" tree is, read this- http://facetsoflifeafterloss.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-y-tree.html 

Were there 1 billion things for me to do today?  YES YES and YES!  Did I get them done? NO NO and NO.

Am I going to be better at my tasks, a better mom and wife, friend and sister, supporter and encourager after today?  ABSOLUTELY!  Because I remember what it was like when I was little and I saw that rainbow in the water hose, when my feet hit that wet grass and I just believed God would take care of everything... I remembered the trust in God and in my parents that I had...  and I saw that my Will had the very same today...  and I went back... I went back to that place, that time and I am refreshed and renewed and have rediscovered my place of rest through the eyes of my 5 year old son.

I hope you have the chance to go back to your place of rest today...  It wasn't 'scheduled' on my calendar, but I am sure glad I penciled it in!

And will I wash my hair tonight with RE9 Facial Cleanser?  Um, no!

Lots of Love from Will's mama! :)  (and Nathan and Matthew, of course!)  But today, it was about me and Will!
Thank you God for my boys and for today!  And for reminding me just how my heart felt the day I saw the rainbow in the water sprinkler!  JOY!

1 comment:

  1. xoxo Grateful for the simple joys that remind us He is with us in all things.