Tuesday, April 10, 2012

3 bunnies...

It''s Tuesday!  After a week of Spring Break and Easter festivities, I am so grateful to  have had some wonderful family time...  

Yesterday we had one more day together before Nate went back to school.  We ended Spring Break with Nathan's last middle school ballgame of the year.  Countdown is on until school is out for the summer and we will be heading to Disney World! :) (to play ball :) )  

12 years ago, our oldest son was born on Easter Sunday... I remember thinking oh- my-goodness, this is the first time I have ever missed church on Easter Sunday in the middle of contractions!  (yep, preacher's daughter alright!)  Easter gave to us life with our first born son, so you an imagine the humbling that comes to us as we celebrate the resurrection and life of Jesus on this holiday.

As we were shopping for the boys last week for Easter, our hearts just hurt because of the absence of buying 3 (sugar free) chocolate bunnies.  No matter how many times you make purchases, or decorations, there is such a sting to the 'cemetery finds' in a store... always a pain that hurts when you pick the item up and know where you are going to place it... The boys will walk past a cute garden frog and quickly remind us we should buy one of those for Matthew.  Sting.  It never stings less than it did almost 7 years ago.  It's just hard to decorate your baby's grave site, no matter how long ago it was, or how recent.  That is your baby.  Period.  

When we went to the cemetery to decorate for Easter, the grass was overgrown, and it was all in need of such maintenance.  It literally made my heart sick to see the weeds covering the grounds...  We pulled as many as we could surrounding Matthew's grave site after we cleaned Matthew's area.  I wanted to stay all day and just clean the sites that were unattended... 

The unattended grave sites hurt my heart... and I wonder who they were.  Where their parents are and if they, too, feel the sting is just too much and cannot bear to walk those grounds...  I wonder...

I left the cemetery feeling sad, not for  Matthew, because I know where he is... but sad for the many people that do not have the strength to take the walk on the path that would lead them to the very spot where their loved one is buried.  In my book, one of my favorite passages is "There is no longer walk than to walk the path a mother has to take to bury her child. And no path more frequently visited, whether on foot or in her heart or mind, the path always lies deep within her soul."  ~ "Facets of Life ~ What I Didn't Expect When I was Expecting"

I have walked this walk, this path many times...  I know what the Bible says about suffering and I am comforted by that and daily I cling to the hope that lives within my heart.  "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Love to all of you from The Weatherly's! 

Easter Sunday... sure wish I had 3 little boys here in green shirts... but rest assured he is nestled within our hearts very tightly!  


  1. Oh how I can relate to these feelings... I watched my girls coloring eggs and my heart ached in wonder as I imagined what the little hands that were missing might have been creating... and the pictures where there is so much missing... Lots of love to you sweet momma!

  2. I love this post. I think about what my son would look like with hair( :-) ) and what little Easter outfit I'd have dressed him in. Instead I made up a basket with eggs and a bunny and a chick and took the long walk to his spot and blew bubbles "with" him. I was hoping it would get easier, but it really isn't yet. It is good to know there are others making that walk. You should have seen the looks I got when I mentioned making up a basket for Sully at work. Pretty sure they think I've completely lost it. They don't get that he's still my son and I can't not include him in the holidays.

    1. Absolutely... he will ALWAYS be your son and I totally believe he should ALWAYS be included in holiday and every day life! You keep doing what you are doing for your boy! No one can take that from you! xoxo!!!