I was up so late last night with many of the same thoughts and all too familiar fears I have faced in the past. I have had so many procedures and surgeries, I cannot keep count anymore... but it doesn't make this one any easier. If anything, it is doing the opposite. I know what is to come... I know the routine... and it scares me.
I have to keep going back to 2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. I have gone to "sleep" on many operating tables quoting that, Friday will be no different.
Adversity is defined as a state hardship or affliction, misfortune,
This last week God has been using a beautiful red cardinal to teach me a valuable lesson on adversity and how I have to face it head on, again. Sometimes I forget what we have already made it through and don't know if I have the strength to stand through yet another "affliction or misfortune." So God reminds me...
Courage is defined as the state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.
I haven't been feeling so brave or full of courage...
Last week when a beautiful red bird landed on my window seal and woke me up, I thanked God for this beautiful creation and simple reminder that Matthew is alive and well with Him in heaven. As the bird stayed with us through the day, I began to wonder why this little bird was staying here, on my window seal. Could he fly? Yes, yes he could fly, and he would fly off as if just to show me his wings were not broken and then fly right back to the window.
As I sit and type this, Dave, (Will named him) is staring at me from the window seal in our bedroom where he has been with us for a week now. And I totally get the message this little bird is here to let me know.
See, not only is it just us humans in the house, we have a cat and a dog that chase birds. Our dog, Dixie has been rather successful and has walked off with her fair share of catching birds since we have had her. (I used to keep a bird house up, but it was like a trap for the birds, so I took it down, too easy for the dog to get to them.) So, birds usually don't visit us, much less encamp themselves anywhere near our home.
At least, none but Dave! :)
Before Will named him, I was calling him my little BRAVE bird and was quite impressed by the courage he has as he comes face to face with adversity in our home.
Look at what he faces as Dixie confronts him... and he sits... calmly and in peace.
Every morning at 6 am, Dave begins to knock on my window with his beak until I open the curtain. He is very persistent! :) He doesn't give up when he is there and he wants you to know it. Then, the dog comes running in to show her teeth and jump on the window and the cat is hissing... the bird remains unscathed by their actions. His feathers do not even ruffle. As he sits perched on the window pane, he has a 90 pound dog and a 20 plus pound cat staring at him and barking, yet he looks with complete confidence right back at them as just sits. He flies to the top of the window, and on cue, the dog jumps right to the top of the window and then flies right back to the bottom and stares again.
|This is one of my favorite pictures... so inspiring to me and beautiful.|
I am facing adversity and I have to trust that God will be in between me and the surgeon's, the nurses, the procedure while I am unmoved by the circumstances I cannot control.
I know God sends special messages, messages to ignite our hope and inspire our faith. Dave, our beautiful brave red bird, has completed that assignment for me. I have watched him closely, some days, sitting on the floor staring right back at him while the tears flowed out of my eyes... This bird is a gift to us, to me, and has given our family the time to spend watching him together and talking about him and we are all so grateful to have this gift... I don't know when he will leave us, but I do know I am so grateful for the time he has been here. It is no coincidence that Dave picked the very window seal that is right beside Matthew's curio that holds all of his most precious belongings. (less than a foot away) We have 3 six-foot windows in our bedroom, but he only goes to that one... closest to Matthew's things.
I have to have act on the faith that is within my heart and the hope that is alive deep at the core of my very being. I have to act like Dave and not let adversity ruffle my feathers... and I have to have hope that God is in control and all will be well...
Hope is defined as to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.
I have great expectation of the fulfillment of God's promise for my life... and for my family's life, no matter what the adversity is that we are facing.
Do I believe God sent this bird to me? YES! And I like to think that Matthew picked Dave out just for us as a way to encourage us through this journey!
Adversity, we all face it... but from now on, I will always remember Dave and the great lesson he taught me and from where he came and why he was sent! :)
Isn't "Dave" beautiful? Thank you God for Dave!