Monday, June 24, 2013

Dancing is not harder than childbirth...

Recently, I was watching an interview with a mother of four children and she said repeatedly that dancing (referring to a dancing competition she was in) was harder than giving birth to all of her children.  And then she said she should know because she did it.

Buckle up people and if you are sensitive, quit reading now.  For those of you that want to know my opinion on this topic, read on.

Wow, I thought, dancing is harder than giving birth?  That is a broad statement and one that was made by a mother who has probably never experienced loss at birth.  And that I would know because I did it.

And then I heard from another mother that she didn't sleep at all the night before and then she followed it by saying it was the worst thing ever.

This is where I give you the go ahead to quit reading if anything above offended you or hurt your feelings.  If not, read on.

Wow, I thought that is also a broad statement and also one that was made by a mother who had probably never experienced sleepless nights without one or more of her children.

A sleepless night with all your children, the worst thing ever?

Try (not just one) but many sleepless nights without one or more of your children.

That friends, is the worst thing ever.

I know that these mothers mentioned above probably do not know how the loss of a child feels and in no way do I ever wish for them to know this pain but with all due respect, there are many mothers that only wish that dancing was harder than childbirth, (me included) and there are many mothers that wish they didn't know the agony of a sleepless night without their child. (me included)

I am going to be real here for a hot minute and be so bold as to say when I read or hear things like this from a mother that has all of her children, my lip does curl up a bit...sometimes even a lot.

Mothers that compare dancing to childbirth cannot do so in the presence of a mother who compares the delivery room to a morgue.  It was time for me to change the channel.

Remember, I am keeping it real here.

Dancing is not harder than childbirth and one sleepless night with all of your children is not the worst thing ever.

That is all.

Sending big hugs to all of my mama friends that didn't dance today and that won't sleep tonight!


  1. Amen! Everything you wrote here is true. To say the least, it's extremely frustrating listening to people complain about the most trivial things...if they only knew they just may hang their head a little lower after their words escaped their mouths. Thank you for your honesty today.

  2. Thank you for reading and sharing with me April. It is very frustrating to hear people complain about trivial things, and I really try to remember things were trivial to me before loss as well but sometimes I just have to vent about it in hopes that someone will understand just a little bit better along the way! Or in hopes that it will let loss moms know if they feel this, they are not alone! XOXO!

  3. I get so frustrated when pregnant women are "so ready to be done", if they only knew how so many women wished there was one more day or hour that they could have held their child- either in their body or their arms. What I wouldn't do to feel my son move just one last time.

  4. Perfectly written, I had a fullterm Stillbirth and i would rather be consoling my crying child instead of trying to console a broken self..I have sat around women talking about their birthing experience and I really wanted to yell do you want to hear mine, because I didn't have the luxury afterwards to complain about how much it hurt or how long it was because my baby was dead at the end of it all, and the pain afterwards outweighs the pain before and during...

  5. Absolutely agreed! We have experienced too much to relate with these women on what is and is not wonderful in life. There are so many days I wish I could be average so I could stand to talk to acquaintances about my kids and the weather. Lately I hear a lot of talk on how it's the people who are different change the world. Sometimes that is empowering but mostly I don't want to change the world. I just want to be like all the other Mom's, only I never will. So, I guess I just have to make the world better where I can even if I can't blend in with the parents.