Thursday, June 13, 2013

My Sunday Shoes

I talk about my injuries and living life with them after losing Matthew quite frequently in the beginning of my "blogosphere" experience but not so much lately, so if you are new here and need a little catcher upper, visit here for a quick briefing.  There are many posts that go in great depth about my injuries and the physical suffering that comes along with it.  But today, I want to talk about Sunday!

Let's get down to business...and yes I am going to talk about shoes!  

Y’all know how much I love shoes, right? (GASP!) And that I wear high heels and cannot feel my feet, right?  Well, Sunday morning, I dressed for church and pulled out a pair of heels to complete my ensemble.  When I slipped the shoes on and took two steps, I slipped right out of them.  Oh boy, I had a moment…I was sad, aggravated and mad because they were supposed to fit me!  They were beautiful shoes and I hadn’t worn them since last summer!  They no longer fit me.  I didn’t grow out of them, I shrunk out of them.  They were too big!

It isn’t like a yay I shrunk out of them, like I lost weight or something like that…it is a sad I shrunk right out of them kind of a deal.

These shoes fit me great last summer and Sunday, once again, the presence of the atrophy migrating throughout my feet and legs were evident.  I know it is happening, but every season when I get this blow, it stings.  I become more and more aware of the progress of the degeneration especially in shoes.  I have had to toss lots of my fabulous shoes from my lack of fitting into them anymore.  I will admit that in the beginning when this started happening, I would keep the shoes hoping and praying for them to fit again. Okay, okay, I still have one pair that hasn’t fit me in several years!  Sigh.  But they are so pretty! 

I better focus…Lord help me before I go get those shoes and try them on, again! 

Alright, back to Sunday…

After they slipped right off of my feet, I gained my composure and I put those shoes right back on and walked down my hallway to prove to myself that I could still wear them.  As I was walking down the hall, I sounded like a herd of cattle trucking down a hardwood floor…with each step they flipped and flopped all over the place. I concentrated so hard to keep my toes in the perfect position to try and keep them on. It was a show I can tell you!  A show!  Finally I stopped.  I looked down and I stepped out of them for the last time.  Sigh.

It's hard to learn how to embrace moments like this and to be honest, sometimes I don't  want to.  I don't want my injuries to migrate, I don't want to slip out of any of my shoes, I just want it to go away.  And then with that very same breath, gratitude takes a first place seat... I am alive!  I am walking!  I am standing!  I am still wearing fabulous shoes!  They may be smaller, but friends I am still wearing fabulous shoes!  

I went back to my closet and pulled a pretty gold pair of wedges out that my mom gave to me  I had never worn them before because they were too small!  Ironic, huh?  Well, that was last summer and this summer they were a perfect fit!

So here's to Sunday Shoes...and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday Shoes!  Here's to shoes!  ;)  Small shoes, big shoes, bedazzled shoes, red bottomed shoes...oh I better stop!  

Have a beautiful day everyone and I hope with shoes are no shoes that you realize what this post is all about...because it really isn't about the shoes!  XOXO!

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