Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Running with Adversity

Before my injuries, I ran!  I loved to put my running shoes on and just run!  I ran often.

I have spent the last six years of these eight years with injuries trying to build strength in my weakened legs, trying to run again.

There's all kinds of issues I have with running, like for starters, I don't feel my feet!  (except for my big toe!) And also, I don't feel the back of my legs and also I  have severe nerve damage to areas below the base of my spine and neuropathy and atrophy and, and, and...all of this has caused severe muscle deterioration and a heightened state of weakness as well as total sensory loss to my lower limbs.


So, anyhoo...

Running, who me?  

Yes, I want to run!  Again.

Last spring I made big plans to do my first 5K since my injuries.  Didn't happen.  

But the desire in my heart to accomplish this is as strong as ever!  And I WILL DO IT!

My sister and some of our fave college girls have been running every day here at our house and every day I watch them dying to get out there and run too!

So, I decided to just do it.  (Wonder how long it took Nike to figure their slogan out?)  ;)

Nathan told me "Mom, I am going to run with you, I am going to make sure you are okay."  (he has been running daily too)

Lately the neuropathy in my feet, especially my left foot has been off the charts so bad and I have been having major problems with my feet and legs.  It is pretty non-stop right now with this, so sitting, sleeping, walking or standing the neurpoathy is present, so I may as well try and run!

And I did.  

With Nate at my side, I made 1/2 mile!  That isn't far I know...but for these legs that are so weak and fatigue so very fast, that isn't bad!

Matter of fact, I am pretty proud that I did it!  I did have a pretty awesome running partner that encouraged me with those "Mama, you can do it..."  "Don't give up..."  "a little further and you are almost there..."

I am sharing this with you all today for JUST this reason-

When I was running yesterday, my left leg was almost completely giving out on me and in my head I kept thinking I am going to fall if it gives out!  I started thinking about the major weakness in my left foot and ankle and how I wasn't going to be able to keep running...I could literally feel my left knee and my ankle giving out and the more I focused on that, the quicker they were going down!

THEN, I thought I have got to QUIT thinking about my WEAKNESSES and concentrate on my STRENGTHS!  

So I started thinking about the strengths I had in other areas and was able to use that to push through to make the 1/2 mile!  

My legs were trembling when I stopped but I was so grateful that I tried!  And that I ran, even if for a little distance.  

Good news is I am going to keep trying!  I am going to keep focusing on my strengths instead of my weaknesses!
Do you need to focus on your strengths today? 

After Nathan finished running his three miles, he ran right up to me outside and said "Mama, you will go a little further tomorrow!"  And I smiled...

My legs and feet are so damaged, but I am still so grateful for them!  Thank you Jesus for my feet and for my legs and for the ability you have given me to learn to persevere through it all!  

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