Saturday, February 25, 2012

My BIG Piece (peace) of Heaven...

When Nathan, our oldest son that is now 11, was about 2 years old, I decided to modify his nursery into a 'big boy' room and along with that came lots and lots of sports and Ole Miss and more sports!  It was too cute after the room was finished.  Complete for a 2 year old Ole Miss fan... ;)

Shortly after that room was redecorated, I went to the Dollar Store to get some laundry detergent and passed by this picture that I will post in a moment.  I thought, wow, I need to buy this for Nate's room, because as I was growing up we had the picture of the Angel looking over the 2 children on the bridge. (anyone know which one I am talking about?)  SO, I purchased this picture for ONE DOLLAR, frame and all.... I thought I would have it re-framed and hang it right up in his newly decorated red/ white and blue room!

When I got home, I ran into his room with the picture and held it up to the walls... WHAT WHAT WHAT was I thinking???  Not an ounce of this picture was going to look anywhere remotely close to looking good in his room...  so I  remember showing him the picture and explaining Angels were always watching over him and I did what any mother would have done that couldn't bring herself to clash colors in a newly decorated room and I tried to hang it in his bathroom... nope, not in there either.  So I packed it away.  Packed it so far away I forgot I ever had it.

Well, that was in 2002.  Fast forward to 2005... and you all know what happened that year, so let me take you to 2006.

I prayed and pleaded with God to let me see Matthew, let me dream of him, what he looked like, what he sounded like, to see his eyes....  every night I went to sleep holding that little blue bear (as I speak of in the book) and would just cry myself to sleep praying tonight God would show me Matthew.

One night, that prayer was answered.  I had a dream... yes ma'am... a dream I consider to be one of the most beautiful gifts God has ever given to me, other than my salvation and my boys...

The dream is so very special and private to me, so I am not able to share the dream in it's entirety, but it showed me different ages and stages of his life, kind of like I was watching a movie with clips of what he would look like at 6 months, 2 years, etc.... Well, when we got to the 7'ish age group in the dream, I saw this beautiful blonde headed boy enjoying life so much and vividly remember EVERY detail of what he looked like, especially at that age and the last age he appeared in the dream, which was about 15 or 16...

The next morning I woke up and was freaking out and told RW (Ronnie) and was just so happy and sad at the same time that I had to wake up... I wanted more.

God knew I wanted more...  Later in the day, I was unpacking a box in our office, and at the very bottom, I saw this frame and pulled it out... it was this picture... the Dollar Store picture...
I fell to my knees and cried and cried and cried vividly remembering the very day I bought this picture for Nate's room that would never be hung in there, but placed in a box for me to find on this day.  Walking right beside the angel on the fence post is the very same image that was revealed to me at one stage in my dream!  WOW, right?  When RW walked in he said "you are so pale, are you okay?"  I turned the frame around and showed him and all he could do was hold me and cry too.

God's tender mercy had allowed me to have a mama moment and to this day when I look at the photo (which is in Matthew's curio) I smile... sometimes I cry, but mostly I smile because this is a tangible miracle, one I can hold and look at....  one I can see how much God loved me and how in his ways his love is shown to us daily.  Those many years ago, he was preparing me for this day... I am so grateful.

I may have paid ONE DOLLAR for this picture in 2002, but let me tell you it is PRICELESS to me today!

This my friends, is my big piece (peace) of heaven I wanted to share with you today...

Love you all,



  1. incredible. otherworldly.
    Only God.
    thank you for sharing. I am going to start praying for my Jack dream. I get snippets here and there but that is just incredible, the gift you got.
    Many hugs and thanks for sharing your journey with us.
    what a gift. xoxo

  2. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate story.

    1. God is so gracious to me to give me the courage to share with others, and I am so grateful for each life touched or changed because of Matthew's beautiful life. Much love & hope, Lori