Wednesday, March 7, 2012

"Beauty Marks"

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.  BIG SMILE!

We went to the golf course and then a picnic afterward.  It was a beautiful day to just take some time to be together and appreciate the moments in life that we almost didn't get to have together.

Til' death do us part...
For better or for worse...

Ring a bell?

On July 2, 2005, I flat lined twice and would remain on life support for 4 days following Matthew's birth... death would grip our hearts by taking our baby boy and almost claiming my life as well.  Death would change us... change everything.

For better or worse...What is worse than burying your child?

We have had some really hard days... and along with that has come immense suffering from it all... but we have also had some really incredible days along the way.  But we survived (are still surviving daily) and are now embracing the "Beauty Marks" left behind...

We laughed the other day because we don't count the first 6 months of our marriage...  we weren't sure we still liked each other when he found out I didn't like him leaving his socks on the floor! ;)  And when I found out he didn't think he needed to call me if he was going to come home late from work! LOL!  So funny now, but wow, it was a trip back then!

We eventually transitioned well into our "perfect life..."
July 2nd, 2005 rocked our world.  Our world and our 'perfect life' was merely a memory now as death would take it's toll upon us and the injuries we would be facing with me.  We would never be the same.

As I look at our wedding picture above, I see 2 young people that had so much hope in them for their future and faith in God and that His plan and His way is always the best way...

And when I look at  this picture of us yesterday on the golf course.... you know what I see?  2 older (gasp!) people who have so much hope in them for their future and faith in God and that  His plan and His way is STILL always the best way!

And I see "Beauty Marks" within the fine lines of our faces... where the tears and smiles over our lifetime together have left their marks... and within those marks lie the joy of bringing 2 beautiful baby boys home and kissing one goodbye as he was heaven bound. The beauty Matthew left behind with his life and his death can be seen as physical scars upon my body, I choose to call them "Beauty Marks"  for where he was within me is nothing but beautiful.

The "Beauty Marks" we have within our marriage as we survived the death of our child and the grief (and all the things associated with grief) are gentle reminders God is taking care of us along this journey.  The "Beauty Marks" are remnants of our 'perfect life' being shattered almost 7 years ago but these "Beauty Marks" are also a sign of survival, love and God's grace.

I am so happy to have been married to this man for 13 years!  (or 12 1/2 - LOL)

And I am so grateful to have the "Beauty Marks" inside and out to remind me just how blessed I am!

Love to all...



  1. Love seeing your wedding photo... I met you guys in 2000. Seems like a long time ago- even though it hasn't been so long! Love your blog.

    1. Wow, Staci! 2000? We married in 1999, so we were indeed newlyweds! Where did we meet? Thanks for catching up to me on my blog! Will check yours out this evening! :)

    2. Omgoodness Staci! I didn't realize this was you!!! LOL so hard! All I saw was the name when I replied and didn't know it was YOU! Silly me! Bet you are LOL too when you read my response! Blonde moment of the day! :))) xoxo

  2. Beautiful post! Happy Anniversary :)

  3. Lori I remember your wedding day so vividly. I remember watching you come down the stairs at your reception and thinking you were the most beautiful bride I had ever seen! Just like Cinderella! I'll never forget when you and RW got engaged you said "when you know, you just know." I carried those words with me and can remember saying those exact words to my mom not long after meeting Bill. Thank you for touching my life at such a young age and continuing to do so today. Love you!

    1. OH sweet Brooke! xoxo!!! I remember telling you that... and I am so happy you have Bill! You are so precious to me... and I love you!

  4. I love nostalgia...looking back and seeing how far you've come, what you've "lived" thru and all the good stuff in between.
    You and RW are an incredible testimony of "for better, or worse"..and I thank you for sharing .
    I so wish we lived closer geographically...

    1. :) I love it too Laurie! And yes ma'am, I wish we lived closer together too! Somethings are just better over coffee! ;)