Thursday, March 8, 2012

seeking peace & serenity!

I don't have lots to say today! (wow~ imagine that!)

Just kind of quiet...  and still.  Lots going on in my head, but if I wrote them as I am thinking them, you would think I need therapy.  Hmmm, maybe I do.

A lot of change approaching, spring is on its way...  Easter Bunny is preparing it's landing, ballgames are imminent, (lots and lots of ballgames), family vacation being planned, joining a group of incredible women on a new adventure of an online magazine called Still Standing; Embracing Life After Loss and Infertility, writing my second book somewhere along the way, and trying to cope with my heart aching so much for those around me suffering loss in their lives... and of course, July is coming.

And trying to figure out this cooking stuff, keeping my house as clean as I like it, while managing to hold it together when I must and realizing it's okay to let it go when I can.

Serenity, peace... I seek that daily.

This picture was taken in the Bahamas as the sun was setting and I was under the cabana and a palm tree...

Pure beauty.

At the end of every day, I reflect upon the beauty in it...  or lack there of.

And when I am dissatisfied with the answer, I am disappointed that somewhere along the way, I didn't find the beauty in a moment, a smile or a memory.

And I shift to my post yesterday about our "Beauty Marks" along this journey in  life... and I am thankful and grateful and embarrassed that sometimes I am mad at myself at the end of the day for not making everything as beautiful as I want it to be...

Clean house or Hide-n Seek?  I want both, and put a lot of pressure upon myself - too much pressure that sometimes it gets in the way of seeing the beauty in the mess of the games on the floor, the socks stashed under the bed and the way my little one smiles as he "peeks" to see just where I am hiding.

Remembering the talk me and Nate had as we kayaked together in the Bahamas... it was wonderful... beautiful and most importantly a moment that became an incredible memory.

I don't know that my  children will grow up and remember just how much housework I did, but I do know my children will grow up remembering my favorite hiding place when we played laser tag and just how fast I could "get to the base!"  And just how many times I would pack a picnic for them! And so on...

I know that as I said every day I seek peace and serenity...  and that probably has never been more true than now...  but I also know there are lots more places to find it... (like behind the door in the bedroom, or on the other side of the kitchen counter or under the table- Will's most favorite places to hide!)

So here goes my seeking... as my little bit of peace and serenity is hiding!  Counting now and I already hear him giggling and he just yelled at me CLOSE YOUR EYES!  lol!

Bye y'all!  (just typed that with my eyes closed! ;) )



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