Thursday, June 14, 2012

My thoughts on pregnancy...after loss

There are a few thoughts I would like to share about pregnancy... I may step on a few toes, but I cannot help but speak what is on my heart.

If you are blessed enough to become pregnant without IVF, AI, or some other kind of hormone therapy and seas of doctor visits in the midst of it all... Please stop here and be grateful.

If you are honored to carry a child, a baby, a precious life, please do not abuse the absolute PRIVILEGE that it is...  Many mothers would give everything they had to do what you are doing right now.

Please don't smoke, don't drink and don't do drugs of any sort when you have this little life inside of you. They are not asking for that... what they need is for you to take care of your body, which essentially means you are protecting them... they cannot protect themselves.

Don't take one second of pregnancy, life within, for granted.  You never know what is going to happen... you never know if this second right now will be your last with life inside of you.

And you know, as "fat" as you may say you are when  you are 7-9 months pregnant, don't rush it...  I so wish I wouldn't have.  I couldn't wait to get the extra weight off, to be un~pregnant... who knew on the day my son was born, I would never have the opportunity to be pregnant again, nor would I have the opportunity to take my 8 lb 14 oz boy anywhere but to the cemetery.

Take pictures all of the time... you never know, but some mothers like me, that is all we have.  I have very few pregnant pictures, and that makes me sad.  I wish I would have documented  my pregnancy better.  I did my first pregnancy... but didn't do it so much with Matthew. (sad face)

(one of the very few belly pics I have)
After all, I knew I would have plenty of time for pictures of Matthew... right?  WRONG!

Pregnancy is a gift that many cannot receive without a struggle, and some not at all, and they have to seek out other ways to become parents... and I am so grateful for those beautiful gifts of life that are given through adoption, I know, we have a beautiful gift like that.  He is priceless and amazing and a beautiful gift.

Don't think by reading all of the 'text books' on pregnancy that they for one minute prepare you for the unexpected when you are expecting.  I read them, believe me, I must have missed the pages that said what I was to do when my healthy baby boy died unexpectedly.  There are risks, there are complications that occur, there is life and there is death... and you never know if that will happen to you.

When I see a pregnant woman, I want to run to her and say CHERISH this time, CHERISH the heartburn, the kicks, the full bladder, the feeling of complete exhaustion!!!  Please CHERISH it and PROTECT your baby!  Be gentle with what you do to your body and be grateful for this blessing of life within. CHERISH today and walk into tomorrow with the deep understanding that this baby depends upon you, needs you and please don't abuse that right that many wish they had.  It can all be taken away from you in one second.

(Well, I was right about one thing...I have plenty of time to take pics...these pics)

Life is a gift that not everyone gets to unwrap and many don't get to keep...

Signing off with much love to you all...



  1. As a babyloss mama who has never carried a baby, I give this a huge AMEN, sister. Sully is a huge gift, then and now. I was completely, totally in love with that chubby-cheeked boy from the second they placed him in my arms. He was 2 days old. One thing I am beyond words grateful for is I didn't take him or our time for granted. I spent too many years waiting for him for that. He lived 16 weeks, 2 days and I have hundreds of pictures of those cheeks! So thankful to God for him. I would do it again in a heartbeat even knowing the outcome. So worth it to be his mama!
    Love this post!

  2. I agree with everything you said, Lori! I thought I would have plenty of time for pictures too. Thank you for writing this.

  3. amen and amen.
    I sound like a broken record, saying the same thing over and over on your blog but we are in sync.
    I was having these thoughts just the other day and you voiced them. Thank you.
    hugs hugs hugs gratitude
    and so much love

  4. I totally agree.It angers me when I see these pregnant woman smoke.I did nothing wrong in my pregnancy,but still loss my beautiful angel ,I was 42 weeks ,she was perfect.God needed her home though.When u are blessed to be able to carry a child don't take that for granted ,many people out there cant and wish they could.